Click on a shirt to buy, or click here to check out our full store.


$17 USD plus shipping

$17 USD plus shipping

$17 USD plus shipping

$17 USD plus shipping

$35 USD plus shipping

$35 USD plus shipping


Merch FAQs


I only have three days to buy a shirt?

Nah, this is displayed because of the way Teespring is set up. The shirts will be around for a while and we'll let you know before any of them go away.


How can I get merch?

You can browse the selection right here!


How much?

Only $17 USD, plus shipping for a shirt or $35 for a sweatshirt.


Does it look like shit?

No way! Our talented designer Sam Atherton himself designed our shirts and they're sure to keep you looking your best.


Will this merch get me laid?

I mean...we can't say for sure, but we did get this tesitmonial in our inbox last night.

"I bought this shirt and now I'm drowning in ass" - Doctor